Today was a stressful day.. Tons of question marks are appearing above me. The word i used most is 'huhs?'. Lesson is getting difficult problem by problem. The thought of doing revision is killing me because i know more question marks will pop out..
Mrt-ed to PotongPasir with Darren and Sharlene. They accompanied me to wait for the bus.. Thank you and sorry for making you two wait for so long.

I fake a smile and try not to think so that it will not affect my work.. but it still affect me. I'm lucky enough that it never affect my work. I heard ' i'm okays ' times and again but i know that's not true. I know it hurts.. I'm sorry. Sighs~ i'm in a mess! Tons of stuffs are going through my mind. Mind in a mess.. Tears rolling down. Breaking down is something that i think it is possible to happen soon..

Reply of tag_.

thcrazylil'girl: No, i'm not okays.. Seriously, i'm not! I will try to cheer up..

Fell asleep in my brother's room and woke up at 8 in the morning. Went back to my room and mummy thought i just came in to sleep.. Hahas. Continued sleeping until 2pm. Why am i sleeping so much?! Woke up and helped out with housework. Wanted to continue but daddy don't allow. Maybe daddy was right.. I need more rest. Felt tired very fast today despite sleeping for so long.

I found my answer.. It turned out to be the one that i don't want it to be. This answer seems normal but it's scary to me. I'm afraid that i will always be like that and never change. I saw them and they made be sad. why now and not that time? It should be that time. People cannot compensate for everything that we should have done earlier. I'm not sure for what kind of things but at least for this i know, we cannot. Are you trying to compensate? I don't know. What i know is that i may not need it anymore.. I learnt to be like that and i'm already like that. Now i know why my answer is don't know. The answer sounds ridiculous and funny but.. it's true.
I'm confused.. and i cannot feel anything.

Don't have appetite today.. A waffle can last me for 10 hours without wanting to eat again. Aww~ when will i recover? It's scary to be coughing and coughing. Some people don't even dare to come near me.
Listening to the same song during the second break over and over again. Classmates thought i felt listless because i'm sick. I hope that is what they really think although it is not because of that. I'm troubled, very troubled. I don't want to hurt anyone. I'm worried and i don't know if i did hurt anyone. I just want everyone to smile. I don't mind being the one who have to bear everything and feel hurt as long as i saw a smile on your face.
Thank you Darren for your concern and thank you for cheering me up, getting me back into study mood before the third meeting started. Learnt about today's programming code from Darren and tried to decorate the room a little by adding flow-ers. Supposed to help out Darren during the presentation but all i did was to sit there and cough.. I'm sorry. Yet you managed to present the whole code yourself.. It's a improvement, isn't it? jia yous! (:
Slept until 9pm and i found out that i was having fever again. No wonder.. I guess i will miss my dinner if daddy didn't call.

Really okays like what you said and looked?

Wore the formal wear that i borrowed from HuiXin. I shall not say HuiXin looks like OL anymore.. Hahas. Everyone looks so smart today. Aww~ Mr WinterWear didn't come today. I wonder what Mr Carlos will say when he saw someone wearing winter wear.. Hahas.
The interview was scary. Although i'm am neither the interviewer nor the interviewee, being the observer wasn't easy too. Nonono~ i'm not supposed to sit there and observe, i have to note down things too. I'm not sure whether i wrote the correct thing.
I wasn't being efficient.. When the third meeting started, i have not complete anything. Stayed back to continue my work while Sharlene sat beside me and played sims3. It seems so addictive.. She have been playing for weeks and she still so interested.

Avoiding or wanted a break?

School was okays, except that i was feeling listless. Couldn't understand some of the questions.. My brain don't seems to be working. Couldn't finish my meal too.. Staring at the food as though i could just 'eat' it like that. Being sick is seriously bad.. Affecting everything.

I'm feeling so confused right now.. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt anyone. I feeling so bad, so bad..

Okays, i admit i wasn't being obedient today. I went to school even though i was aware that my temperature will fluctuate for a period of time before i totally recover. Surprised Cecilia when i opened the classroom door. She touched me and commented that i took divine pearl that's why i recovered so fast.. Hahas. Was talking to Darren on the third meeting during other teams' presentations. I said something silly which i shall not say.. Hahas. My team's turn to present. Everyone clapped after Darren presented his slide. Kind of surprised me because i didn't know they will do that.. Hahas.
Bus-ed back home and rest after school. Went to Lydia's house at 7pm to ask her to help me scan my MC. I found out that my MC do not have the clinic stamp and i'm supposed to get it at the payment department. Dumb me~ hahas. Kind Lydia helped me scan the MC and she is willing to help me scan again once i get the clinic stamp. Thank you Lydia(:
Thank you lovelies for showing concern about me although i'm naughty today.. Hahas :D

Woke up at the usual time when i went to school. Find it kind of unusual so i took my temperature.. 38 degree! Cannot go to school today.. Sighs~! Slept and use computer until around 1 plus 2. Wasn't able to see when i want to walk to daddy's bedroom. Went to see doctor with daddy because daddy was afraid that i cannot see again. Lydia spotted me and came to talk to me. Waited to see the doctor for so long until i almost fell asleep. I wasn't aware that i need to take another number when i want to get the medicine.. Daddy found out and get me the number. Waited ONCE AGAIN then left the polyclinic. Bus-ed back home and slept again. Thank you daddy.. LOVES~ :D

Reply of tag_.

thcrazylil'girl: Oh okays.. Hahas.

Went to HuiXin's house with LimYi. She told me her block but when i alight from the bus, i forgot. Anyhow guess and i was correct.. Hahas. Okays.. Now i become the OL. Hahas. Slacked and chatted at her house until around 7pm. Supposed to have dinner together but not anymore in the end. HuiXin alighted then LimYi and I alighted at interchange. Bus-ed back home. Thank you LimYi for accompanying me to wait for bus(:

So much going through my mind.. Where's the answer?

Aww~ my hair clip is spoiled early in the morning): vivien is so violent.. Hahas. Went to do voluntary work with mummy today. Seeing Y-stars once again.. Hahas. It's been two months since i last see them.. Didn't go for last month's voluntary work): Reached YMCA quite early today.. Only one person was there hahas. Went to ninth floor to watch them dance.. It just make me feel like dancing again. Aww~ i wanted to learn dancing! Don't laugh at me people.. Hahas. Went SuperBowl to play bowling.. Buddy-of-the-day is Ben Lee(: He got his own bowling ball.. Cool~! Helped him to carry his bowling ball as he seems to be carrying a lot of stuffs.. One bag for personal stuffs and one bag for bowling ball which is so so heavy~! My nice nice mummy keep trying to snatch the bowling bowl from me because she scared it's too heavy for me. Aww~ so sweet *muacks mummy*
Reached SuperBowl and went to the first lane.. Changed to the seventh lane as they were moving some things near the first lane. Dumb me.. Don't know why i didn't play. I thought there's second round so i don't want to play for the first round.. i didn't know the first was the last): It's okays.. Mummy is very nice to let me play two rounds of hers. Thank you mummy~ (:
Went back to YMCA and headed to ChinaTown with mummy and her friend. Did a little shopping and went to eat. Aww~ the nice nice noodle is gone~! I still wondering when i could eat it again after the first time. It's okays.. Just a bowl of noodle(: Went to eat other things.. Super full after that. Went shopping. Omg omg omg.. Temptation kills! I feel like buying those that caught my attention. How i wish i was in dreamland and i had lots of money at that point of time.. Hahas. Didn't buy anything because i wanted to save some money and i don't wish to feel so troubled every morning on what i should wear.. Hahas. One china lady thought i was the sale assistant when i was looking at clothes in the department store. I was like.. shocked~ Hahas.
Accompanied mummy's friend to mrt station after buying tako balls at OutramPark *yummy yummys* Mrt-ed and reached home at around 7.30pm.. Felt so shagged out.

Don't they(the bottles) look nice?

Replies of tags_.

Linda: I'm fine.. Just a little busy with school work. How about mummy?
RuiJia: yoyoyo~ hahas. Aww~ I miss you so much.. How are you?

Wednesday; 8 July_.

Today's problem is the longest reflection journal that i have ever did. Adding the questions and solutions, there is a total of 36 lines used for the reflection journal. Cool~!

Thursday; 9 July_.

I still like to excel here and there.. Hahas. Able to understand today's problem.. Not bad hahas.

Friday; 10 July_.

I just cannot get the programming code.. I don't know why. Haix.

Saturday; 11 July_.

Went to Amanda house for house warming. Her house is so nice.. So cozy. Due to the heavy rain, we cannot go home. Stayed at there and chatted until 10.20pm. Vivien had something to confess! She drank a little of the 6% alcohol volume *ribena*. Hahas.. It seems like ribena because i could not taste the alcohol.

Sunday; 12 July_.

Doing housework and revision whole day just kills~! It is so so tiring..

Replies of tags_.

Cecilia: I know they are biscuits but you hungry ma..
Cheryl: Aww~ I still thought maybe i can go back some day..
RiWei: Oh, hellos. Thank you for the tag. You're linked(:
thcrazylil'girl: You always see them de. I didn't pass by school or somewhere near.. Never get to see anyone.

Had a change of team for cognitive today. Team with Darren, Dian, Leon and YangMeng. Darren and YangMeng did not come for lesson today. Cecilia's team only have Eugene and her so we requested to combine team. Cool~ first time same team with Cecilia and Leon together.. Hahas. Eugene did a lot for today's presentation while i only did one slide): Thank you Eugene for helping me to change the table into a mindmap(: Oh, i realised something. I seemed to be talking more in class now. Am i becoming moore talkative or what? Hahas.

Cecilia and Leon didn't come school today because it's Leon birthday and they went to celebrate it. My team is been splitted into two because there was only three people. Today's science is easy because we learnt about it before but it is very difficult to explain it. I wasn't in the mood to do my things.. I don't know why. Didn't really explain the presentation, it was like reading from the slides most of the time. I could understand when the facilitator is teaching but i could not understand what i have noted down after that.. Hahas.
Slept very late yesterday so i'm very tired today. Kept falling asleep when i wanted to complete my reflection journal.

a post specially for my second best guy friend, Leon.
happy birthday to you..
happy birthday to you..
happy birthday to leon~
happy birthday to you.

Happy 18th birthday, my nice nice second best guy friend(:

Stay cheerful and handsome. Enjoy your special day :D

Saturday; 4 July_.

Busy packing my stuffs, books and notes the whole day. So tiring.

Sunday; 5 July_.

I woke up at 5.50am automatically for don't-know-what reason. I guess i'm used to the timing to wake up for school that i'm half awake when it's around the time. Slept again and woke up at 9am. Waited for Cecilia at Hougang mrt station. Both of us were looking at the exit place when she's came from the left side. You should have tell us that you're there.. Hahas. Went to buy ingredients and headed home. Helped Cecilia with the cake baking and i clumsily spilled the melted butter.. Sorry mummy. After the cake is done, i accompanied Cecilia to wait for her bus. Hope Leon will like the cake(:

Managed to understand programming today and i was able to arrive at the calculator code with the facilitator's help. However, i didn't attempt to get a more detailed code which is so bad bad! I guess i gave a bad explanation today.. Darren and Michelle seems to understand a little bit of here and there only. Vivien cannot be a teacher.. Hahas.
Saw this phrase at i-forgot-where, quite interesting..
A woman is a rose, that breathes and grows in love and care.

Oh no~ feels so weird when i'm back to school. I guess i still prefer to wake up at 8 plus for lesson but i wanted lesson in school instead. So contridicting.. Hahas. Okays.. First day of school was okays. Didn't screw up my part of the ppt i hoped.. Hahas. I seemed to talk a lot today.. Is it because i know my classmates for a longer period of time then dare to chat more with them or am i too talkative today? Hahas.. Wadever it is, i talked! Had temperature taking today and this is going to last for i-don't-know-how-long.

Maths e-learning today. The only facilitator that used msn for e-learning.. Mr Koh~! Although it is easier by asking questions through msn, some of the problems are still not solved because we do not understand just by what the facilitator said. Although i learnt standard deviation, some of the questions still caused me to stuck there and think, think, think~ This caused me to dragged the worksheet and practice questions and submit them late.
Thank you to LimYi's friend who offer to help me out with my blog's code. I was searching for the blog's code after more than an hour after i'm done with my work after e-learning ended.