Just a little thoughts..

Tuesday, September 7, 2010 -{'11:59 PM

Tips on how to stop the arguing and petty bickering

Stress and frustration

Lots of things make us tired and irritated and we take it out on our partner because we don’t know how to vent it, even though they haven’t made us feel this way. Get rid of stress and frustrations by screaming in the car, buy a punching bag or use a pillow, or go to the gym after work.

Underlying issues

One of the main reasons for couple arguing is that there are underlying issues that linger which haven’t been resolved. Therefore you both need to realise the problem of not solving these hidden and obvious problems. If they aren’t resolved they will keep rearing their ugly head.

The problem of compromise

There are times when compromise is good, but it shouldn’t be the way to resolve all your domestic disputes. The reason for this is that many people often feel that they are owed something later on or that they have given something up as a part of the bargain. You need to resolve and find solutions.

They aren’t the enemy

You have to remember that you love this person and sometimes when we spend a lot of time with someone it can be easy to get stuck in a rut and allow feelings of resentment ruin our mood. Therefore you have to remember that they are not the enemy and it isn’t a case of winning or losing.

There needs to be change

You both need to take in that trying harder won’t make a lot of difference and so you need to work towards change. You will both want and need to change your behaviour and thinking and focus on resolving things. You also need to assess whether it is your behaviour that needs focus and change.

Re-evaluate expectations

When expectations of someone are too high it is easy to feel let down when they aren’t met. Couples should remember that their partner is human meaning mistakes will happen, and either one of you will feel let down. Having unrealistic expectations will only end in conflict and dissatisfaction.

Follow promises through

Cut down on arguments by following through on promises you make. When one of you makes a promise and it’s not kept, the other is likely to be hurt. If your partner fails to keep their promises, make sure you do. You will find that your calm manner will help them to take on your approach.

Don’t take things to heart

Try not to take things that are said in the heat of the moment as things are taken the wrong way and this always leads to a breakdown in communication. If someone is overly critical then they’re either over generalising or don’t know how to articulate themselves through communication properly.

Forget the past

When a couple argue it is always easy to bring up the past and the nitty gritty details of past arguments and troubles. However, if you avoid this and only mention things within the last week, you will both realise that there isn’t that much and it stops things for getting out of control.

Listen and hear

If you argue its key that you both listen and hear to what is said, as this is vital in keeping strong communication which is crucial in a relationship. You can recall what they’ve said so they feel you’ve listened, heard and understood. You aren’t agreeing to what they say, but it helps to calm things.

Stop the blame game

Don’t blame your partner or yourself because this only masks the truth. When you try to make someone feel guilty and blame them you are covering up what is really going on. Pointing the finger will also keep the argument going and stokes the fire rather than stop it, which should be your goal.

The consequences

Realise what the argument is doing to the relationship and to you. It takes a big toll on someone and nobody like the upset and stress of it all. It is much better to be happy than to be right and it will definitely have a positive effect on your relationship.

Sources from:
http://lifestyle.xin.msn.com/en/sex-relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4310987

Cool~ Hope this helps all the couples to stay lovely :D

Labels: Information

Saturday, December 19, 2009 -{'8:26 PM

What to eat when one is sick

Was looking around and found this in a forum, quite useful i think? (:

cough > avoid chicken, egg and heaty stuff. blend and light stuff like porridge is good.
soup like honey almond water cress is good too.

flu/cold > hot chicken soup with dried scallop or the famous ABC soup ( a famous cantonese soup) to replenish your Vit C.

fever/headache > from what i know it happen due to lack of potassium.
drink freshly squeeze Orange juices with dash of salt. that will relieve.
as usual, rich taste porride will be good ( minced pork with dried scallop)

stomach bloated > ABC soups with lots of onions ( this help u to fart out the bloated gases)

woman monthly pain > herb soup like dang gui is good for them. avoid cooling effect food and drink like liang teh, pineapple orange. food tat is rich in tonic like herbal chicken that can help to warm their stomach is good

Reference:
http://flowerpod.com.sg/forums/Cook-He-she-Sick-t84394.html
by sayno

Sighs~ Didn't find anything that i think it is suitable to buy for DarDar):

Labels: Information, Saturday